Alex Lara, a non-binary person, grew up in a Christian family environment and experienced an adolescence in which she felt she had to conform to the gender role established by society and, above all, by the dictates of her religion.
“I grew up with Christian values that were quite limiting regarding gender identity. There were no words to describe people’s experiences, there was no distinction between male and female, and, of course, recognizing myself as non-binary was almost impossible,” she tells CNN.
It wasn’t until she was 18 that Lara—now 29—was able to identify as non-binary, but she says it was a difficult process. First, she had to try to accept her identity because her family and religious environment talked about “bad” things that weren’t explained to her, and she heard negative and rejecting comments about the LGBTQ community.
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“All of this led me to have a shy childhood. I didn’t speak much, I only dedicated myself to my studies and Bible study because I knew it made my parents proud and atoned for the guilt I felt. But sometimes my effeminate nature came out and I was scolded or repressed,” he says.
As time passed, Alex, growing up in Acayucan, Veracruz—a city he describes as small and conservative—began to discover and accept his identity. “So I decided to come out as gay. That was almost the worst thing that could have happened to my family. For them, it was tragic, but for me, it was liberating,” he says.
In 2024, less than 22% of LGBTQ+ youth reported having a home where they felt accepted, and only 34% felt fully accepted by their family after coming out or revealing their gender identity, according to a study on mental health among LGBTQ+ youth in Mexico, conducted online based on an analytical sample and led by The Trevor Project, a nonprofit organization dedicated to suicide prevention and mental health among youth in the community.
The Harm Caused by “Conversion Therapies”
Lara says she decided to reveal her sexual orientation because it was overwhelming to try to be someone she wasn’t. When she spoke to her parents, she recalls, there was a lot of scolding, all related to the idea of ”what God says you should and shouldn’t do.” At that moment, according to Lara, he was told he had to attend an ECOSIG (Efforts to Correct Sexual Orientation and Gender Identity) program, defined by the UN Office on Drugs and Crime as Efforts to Correct Sexual Orientation and Gender Identity.
“My parents told me I had to change that, that I had to seek God because he could help me. I was in those sessions for about five months. They were sessions with a Christian pastor who claimed to be a psychologist, but, above all, he claimed to be ex-gay. Walking into his office, the first thing I saw was a photo of him with his wife and two daughters because he was the pride of change,” he says.
In the case of this young actor and social media content creator, the ECOSIG sessions in Mexico City never led to any physical discomfort, but he notes that there was psychological and spiritual abuse.
“They told me I was going to hell if I didn’t change and that what I was doing wasn’t right,” he recalls.
ECOSIGs—also known as “conversion therapies”—are practices of various kinds: psychological, psychiatric, religious, or academic sessions that seek to change sexual orientation, gender identity, or expression, especially among homosexual, bisexual, and transgender people.
In 2024, Mexico approved reforms to the Penal Code and the General Health Law to prohibit and punish ECOSIGs with up to six years in prison for anyone who applies, requires, or finances any type of treatment or practice that hinders, impedes, or suppresses a person’s sexual orientation, gender identity, or expression.
One in 10 people in the LGBTQ community in Mexico were forced by their parents to see a psychologist, doctor, religious authority, or other person or institution when they learned of their sexual orientation or gender identity, according to data from the first National Survey on Sexual and Gender Diversity (ENDISEG), conducted between August 2021 and January 2022 in more than 44,000 households by Mexico’s National Institute of Statistics and Geography (INEGI).
The Pan American Health Organization (PAHO) states that such therapies have no medical justification and pose a serious threat to health and human rights. Furthermore, the UN’s “Nothing to Cure” guide notes that, rather than changing sexual orientation, “conversion therapies” erode self-esteem and increase the risk of depression, suicidal behavior, and substance abuse. They also break family ties, especially when the family pressures a person “to undergo ECOSIG in order to gain their love and acceptance.”
Lara decided to leave the ECOSIG sessions. After that, her father decided to distance himself. “Our relationship never improved or returned to where it was before I came out,” she says. Instead, her mother began to question things with curiosity and respect and accepted him. “Today, my mother has seen me dressed as a drag queen, she’s seen me perform, and she seems proud and happy,” she adds.
Suicide Attempts in the LGBTQ Community
According to The Trevor Project survey—conducted on more than 10,000 LGBTQ youth between the ages of 13 and 24 across Mexico—reveals that more than 50% seriously considered suicide in the past year, while 1 in 3 attempted it.
According to the organization, most of the youth facing this battle are adolescents between the ages of 13 and 17, a crucial stage of life marked by the search for identity and acceptance.
Adrián García, originally from Monterrey, Nuevo León, experienced a similar situation. He told CNN that when he reached adolescence, around the age of 12 or 13, he realized he liked men. However, growing up in a Catholic environment and hearing sexist and homophobic comments made him afraid to express what he was experiencing, and he decided not to talk to anyone.
“I didn’t feel confident enough to talk to anyone,” he explains. “I just kept moving forward, and for practically the rest of my adolescence and youth, I developed as a heterosexual man. I was very afraid of being discovered, and at that time, suicide or self-harm crossed my mind,” he says.
García, 28, decided to seek support from a mental health professional to accept himself and stop repressing what he felt. He recalls that he found the greatest support in that process in his friends.
Although he was very afraid to share his sexual orientation with his family, he decided to do so about two years ago and received the support and guidance of his parents.
“It was a very difficult time for the family in the sense that it took them time to process the news and then embark on the acceptance process. From the very beginning, they told me they had to process the news, but that the love they had for me was unquestionable. As the days and weeks passed, they asked questions and we had conversations that gradually led to acceptance,” he recalls.
García, who also holds a degree in Psychology from the Universidad del Norte in Monterrey, says that his relationship with his family has now greatly improved, and he is openly gay with them and everyone around him.
The Importance of Family Acceptance
The UN points out that having the support of family (mothers, fathers, siblings) is very important when a young person comes out, as in addition to facing the challenges associated with adolescence, they must deal with stigma and discrimination.
“When someone finds a safe space in their family, an affirming family—one that reaffirms and validates a person’s identity—where they feel accepted, they go out into the outside world with greater confidence; it’s much easier to have confidence and self-esteem,” Edurne Balmori, executive director of The Trevor Project, told CNN.
She emphasizes that when a person doesn’t find that support in their family, they can easily fall into isolation and loneliness, which can lead to a crisis or suicidal thoughts.
According to the organization, of the youth who attempted suicide in 2024, 77% said their motivation was related to their family situation, and 60% pointed to the school environment.
Balmori points out that one of The Trevor Project’s efforts is a digital service operating throughout Mexico, 24 hours a day, seven days a week, that any LGBTQ person experiencing a crisis can use. It’s available on the website https://www.thetrevorproject.mx and on WhatsApp at 55-9225-3337. The service provides support from a counseling team that helps them manage the crisis. “It’s not a clinical or therapeutic service; it only helps contain a crisis at the moment,” he explains.
Alex Lara comments that it’s normal and consistent to feel fear about facing what family and society will say when revealing one’s sexual orientation or gender identity, but affirms that there are ways to navigate that fear and find spaces where people feel safe and free.
Adrián García agrees with this view and points out that each person’s journey is different and there is no specific timeline, and that no one should feel alone as there are alternatives and services that can help those in need.
In the United States, call 1-800-273-8255 or text “talk” to 741741 or 988 to reach the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline. It provides free and confidential support 24 hours a day, seven days a week, for people in suicidal crisis or distress. You can also call 1-800-273-8255 to speak with someone about how you can help someone in crisis. Call 1-866-488-7386 for TrevorLifeline, a suicide prevention counseling service for the LGBTQ community.
Source: cnnespanol
