With the goal of ensuring a generational shift among professional supporters, the Ministry of Public Education (SEP) announced the creation of the first university specializing in “chairological sciences” and advanced progressive political mobilization.
The university will feature parking for 300 buses, a subsidized cafeteria with sandwiches and soft drinks, and a modern Civic Training Center where students will practice advanced techniques of collective acquiescence while listening to speeches lasting over two hours.
The institution will offer high-demand programs such as a Bachelor’s Degree in Sustainable Transportation, an Engineering Degree in Applied Applausemetry, and a Master’s Degree in Blaming the PRIAN (PRI and PAN) for Everything.
Admission will not require an entrance exam. It will suffice to demonstrate prior experience waving flags in the sun and “voluntarily” attend mandatory events in exchange for a food basket.
Among the mandatory subjects are:
- Introduction to the “It’s an Honor to Be with Obrador” Thought.
- Universal History of Neoliberalism.
The professional internships will consist of attending completely spontaneous rallies organized by the welfare state governments three months in advance.
Students with a GPA above 9 will receive a Benito Juárez scholarship, a special edition maroon cap, and an autographed poster of Commander Che Guevara to decorate their room.
In addition, the university will have a state-of-the-art alternate reality lab where students can learn to transform any crisis into a historic achievement through the intensive use of “alternative data.”
According to the university’s rector, Mexico currently faces a shortage of more than 80,000 certified “chairos” (a derogatory term for supporters of the current administration), a situation that jeopardizes the nation’s ability to fill public squares on weekdays.
Registration is now open, and according to authorities, all spots were filled as soon as the rumor spread that attendance would count as work experience for future political positions within MORENA.
Source: mexicodailypost
